Why I didn’t say goodbye to Daisy

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So, Daisy and I took the long way to Rifle this morning on our way to the vet.  She was watching the horses, cows and sheep along the way.  The scenery was beautiful.  We got to the vet’s office on time.  I dragged her out of the car, because she can’t get in or out without help.  She pooped on the front yard and we went inside.

Once inside, they led us to a room and gave Daisy a blanket to lie down on.  She finally got down on the floor and I sat beside her.  The vet came in, one I have not dealt with before, and asked me if I was sure that I wanted to have Daisy put down.  We discussed what was going on and what options we had tried.  She felt that we had not tried everything yet because I don’t have her on pain meds.  Medically, she didn’t feel it was a good idea.  “She’s your dog. It’s your decision.” is what she said to me.

I explained that I could not watch her suffer, that she would not get any better.  I had another dog that had arthritis and the pain meds didn’t help her all that much.  And there is the diarrhea and neurological damage on top of that.  She didn’t like it, but she sent her techs in to get Daisy set up.

They were trying to get the catheter into her back leg, but it kept getting pushed back out.  After 3 tries on her back leg, they moved to her front leg.  One more try there and I finally said to quit.  Stop.  Don’t do anything else to her.  Just give me the pain meds and let me out of here.

The whole point was for her to go peacefully…minimal stress and no pain.  I am crying like crazy, she is getting poked and prodded and the whole situation was far from peaceful and painless.

So I collected my dog, all the stupid pills they wanted me to have, paid them and loaded Daisy back up in the car.  Less than a minute later she thanked me by pooping in my car.  We drove home, cleaned up the car and cleaned her up.  She is resting peacefully on the couch under her blanket.

Thanks Valley Vet for helping me get through a tough time.  Now what the fuck am I to do?

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